I have absolutely no doubt that addiction and depression are lifelong conditions. At best we can control them. For me, writing puts it in a box. Putting it in a box, gives it boundaries beyond which it cannot pass without my permission. That is, I choose whether to open the box. All I ask is that I can be strong enough that no matter what life throws my way, the box stays shut.
I went out to dinner with L and two friends last night, the first time since I gave up drinking that I have been out socialising. I thought I would be envious of the alcohol. I felt nothing, no desire, no envy definitely no sense of missing out. It was just something that I didn’t do. Very, very cognisant that this is early days but I felt I definite level of pride in myself.